The Best

I want the best of the best to be had
and a sad state of things would deny it to me
I want to cough and feel good in a long deep breath of being
in now as I am
I miss you
your pleasure that rings in my ears and
takes the fear away and
makes me want to stay here a little bit longer
ok, just a little bit longer
your love is way stronger than reality
it's flirting with gravity and I know
I might fall too far
that might not matter so much unless
I want to fight that war of acceptance, ambition,
Purpose Possibility Potential
But I don't know that I do
I want the best it can be and it
might not be given in realms of the living
still unnatural best is much better than chasing
elusive and singular moments of good
I want that
Perhaps this fantasy Hastens the end with humane compassion and
mixes the pain of confusion with blinding ecstasy
and the illusion you're free
I would like to be free of the need
to decide and to try and try
so hard so constantly
for rewards so far from fulfilling
And starkly unmatched to the effort of willing
Can I please just let go of it all and fall?
Can that be ok?

One Thing

Another night that's too warm and too cold
Playing solitaire, connecting puzzle pieces
A Van Gogh masterpiece that I will never see complete
'Cause there's a piece of me gone missing
I look everywhere, in the bed, on the stairs
In your favorite polo shirt with the blue stripes
and just a hint of what you smelled like.

I look for inspiration in the faces
Of old friends. Old faces on the wall
Memories of lights on the highway and night drives in the rain
And I can't stay strong for too long
Thought there were miles of time for us on the edge of the world
And if I could have just one thing, if I could have one thing
I'd have just one more night with you.