beautiful

I don't belong here

everything is too salty

I don't want to see my father.

why not?

I'm not good enough.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

ok. stupid bitch. stop feeling sorry for myourself. weakass baby.

see? better isn't it?

oh yes. I never saw that before. it never occured to me. this whole time i've been needlessly suffering all because I was pitying myself. brilliant.

and now what do you feel?

now I just want to shoot myself in the head?

see? better isn't it?

much better.

now go eat a bucket of shit.

ok! yeay. this is fun.

isn't it? life is the best. shit. buckets. what more could you ask for.

well I don't know, maybe a friend to eat with. but that might be too much to ask for.

yeah. and anyway he might just shoot himself in the head and leave you with your head burried in shit.

yeah. it's probably best this way.

you're not feeling sorry for yourself are you?

no, not at all. I love this. I love this empty meaningless job. I love never ever living up to my potential. I love overdraft fees. I love failure to appear court notices. I love hearing about Julia Hawkinsons personal deficiencies and how fast her kids are growing until I swallow my own vomit. I love the sound of miss peppy indian fashion model in the corner being happy and an incessantly ringing phone. I LOVE being alone and misunderstood and communicating poorly and fucking weekly safety tips and wanting someone to fucking crash into my car headlong so i don't have to fucking see my own face in the mirror anymore. I LOVE IT. I love never feeling sorry for myself but just slapping myself in the face a couple times and screaming at the world in the elevator. I love constant dissappointment. I love emptiness. I love huge huge huge mistakes mistakes mistakes that cause you to lose to lose to lose to lose the one person you could trust. it's b3eautiful. beautiful. I love it all. and the good thing is it's all a big joke. it's funny see?

well i don't know about that. i don't find anything very funny.

well that's because your a fucking blind ass prick with fucking i'm better than you up your perfumed ass hole.

oh. well hey. you're better now right?

yep. all better. I feel fantastic.

good because... SURPRISE!!! you're on candid camera! ok just kidding you're not really but you are on stage and everyone is watching you! yeay! haha. now THAT's funny. look at her blush and not know what to do with her hands. I'm gonna go take a dump. I feel like I have perot's head in my ass.

ok. I'm going to strip and fart in everyone's stupid stuck up faces. and then I'm going to pretend.

what else is new.

life is grand.

the end.