tonglen

i just want to run
to the water
to your arms
to some comfort
and there is some in love
but there's pain
and I'm not afraid to feel it

I'll follow her example
that sweet mother
and turn all the pain
to compassion
and love
and hope that all beings
be free

Venting - the girlfriend of my friend experience

How bout give this some time beotch:

you don't fucking know what the hell I do and continue to believe shit about me that you have basically made up in your head. I truly do not understand and I'm over it. you acted like you wanted to fuck up my relationship after feigning support and getting me to divulge sensitive information, time after time saying "i don't judge, i don't judge, you can be honest with me hilary". Then you refuse to believe me when I tell you of mt decision. Then you continue to hear things in an imaginitive but negative and mean light. It's ridiculous!!! Be honest with yourself and don't be afraid of what you find within you. I do the same. I can't keep arguing my point when I have assessed and found that I am erroneous. If you were trying to break us up or make him hate me it didn't work. I don't understand why would go to such lengths to do that- that is so completely malicious and insidious and just fucked up.

I thought you were a kind person. I liked you. Now it seems like you are preoccupied and consumed with your own interests, and that is the source of all suffering. That is what is causing your suffering right now, which is indirectly causing my suffering. Try PLEASE to see that there is a world greater than yourself. a bigger picture. And you have the choice to promote the good rather than this BULLSHIT.

I feel sorry for you.

I feel hurt.

I don't understand your approach, and frankly don't need to be abused in my relationships by someone who intelligently warps things and cares more about WINNING before trying for mutual peace and compromise. You will make a phenomenal lawyer.I have so much compassion for you cus it seems like you've been though a lot. Don't fucking abuse me just because that's how you learned to deal with your relationships.

Whatevers clever.

just ouch girl. imma having to put time in to recover from this bullshit and that seems wack. that's all. I will meditate and focus on forgiving and letting go. I've never been treated this way.It's strange coming from someone who is intellectually gifted but so fucking dense in relationship-wise. *******************************

not to end on that note but to end: I still continue to focus on LOVE, TRUTH, COMPASSION, FORGIVENESS, ALL the GOOD in the world.

It's a beautiful day. I have beautiful people in my life. T, B, J, E, D, M, S, all these beautiful people with god inside of them. God help me find you.

makesenseIwishIhad

I guess Im not the sort of person to turn around and fucking hitchike because turbulance is a possibility of. fear threatens always. as much as i desire a smooth ride i think id rather see your face sooner. and id rather order my vodka tonic and ill hold it in my hand if its gonna slopify on the tray because of the bumps in the sky road. i miss the power of you and your freedom. I dont want to be all thinking all the time and surveying the land beneath my jumping path. i want to jump into love. no i want to inhabit and radiate love always regardless of anything - oh yeah, that word is irregardless... hee hee. fuk it. i'm here. i'm queer. i'm near to you. and we're gonna find out what happens.

claiborne lives.

Requiem it up Verdi, damn

I all of a sudden
remembered

I love to be part of the
good sounds
all of them
loud and soft
and sad and angry
and lovely
I like to be part of
the music
part of the expression
of the world
of us

So onwards then...