Sometimes you have to let everything fall apart...

A song called Trim by Underworld

He-he-heat in your skin pull up a chair and unwind
Dog we don't share the taxi left us behind
Silhouette of a psychic reader in the market
And the straw wrapped around a bottle to take home

Barbecue chicken oil in a drum double strong wrong
Here comes the horn you call for
Woman in a box with her head in her box
Speaks French when spoken like a tourist French

Hey classic Coca-Cola in a can
When you wanna cool down

Heat she move up the street in waves
Sugar sugar clear your mind leave it all behind
Get in the boat and float join in on a high spot
And ride ride put on some smile stay for awhile



I think the poetry of Underworld is fascinating. Imagery and pretty sounding combinations of words... painting portraits of moments... taking ordinary things and noticing and putting them to words, people in the supermarket and broken fences and stuff. I see so many things that are poetic... tragic and joyful and life-full... the homeless woman collapsed in front of the Metro escalator, unresponsive and leaking, the sun turning the buildings into mirrors, augmenting the city, framing it in such a manageable way, the young man that lifts my spirits with a song on the accordion as I ride exhausted to home, feeling lost and somehow finding myself just a little in the notes, the little black boy not yet required to be self-aware doing michael jackson moves as he follows his father down he sidewalk, the shirtless and most likely insane but blissful man wading through the fountain, the obviously sad wife who seems so full of pain as her wealthy lawyer husband passes me a tip, the sight of my own scars and trying to find my way out of that horrible alone feeling...

anyway, i think it's amazing that they are so much more than an electronic band or guys that know how to use computers... they do something powerful with their music.

I want to do something powerful. I feel some kind of pressure to be working off Joe's Karma. like the only way I can keep loving him or make up for not loving him right before is by loving myself and keeping on to try and work and blah blah blah. But I know its a lot more than that. I think sometimes things still get to me that's all. And I wish I was little again and could talk to my mom and believe she could help me. and I wish I could talk to him. and I want to somehow share or be with his family and stuff and I cant and it's frustrating. I just have to keep on. Sleep will help I'm sure.

I must say it thrills me to see the sunrise every once and a while. And I long to share love with everyone. It's ok that I don't know exactly how. I believe in love and maybe that's enough for now. It make seem like everything else is going to pieces, but sometimes you just have to let everything fall apart.