The end of these

I have decided to move on from this blog, not that my stories of grief, elation, pain, bliss, frustration and wonder have ended. My journey continues. I choose to focus on a different aspect of life. It's the end of the last chapter of four years of a grief process, which will continue on for the rest of my life. Book 1 was the venting of a lifetime: somewhat self-indulgent in that I "could not" meaning would not control the passion that overcame me. Understandably so, this stuff is so hard. It hurts. It's confusing. I'm young and without clear guidance, positive energy, and consistent intentional actions it is impossible to conquer these things. But the love and help that I need is there. It is up to me to accept love. M talks about Joe being unable to receive the love that was being given him - the help that was being offered... he could not accept it while he was here, but he is learning how now in the astral world. I hope that this is true. And I want to learn to accept love and help here and now, so that I can be a good girl. If anyone has seen 127 hours, this movie speaks to this. Sometimes we get caught up in our own opinion of how strong and self-sufficient we "should" be, when really, we all need each other, and we all need God. We can't do everything on our own. It's okay to lean on someone else for a while, and learn to be strong. So I'm back in baby hummingbird mode, tiny and hungry, studying my heroes, learning how to sing with my wings and be a happy darting big hummingbird humming along from flower to flower helping myself and the world grow. I will begin a new blog.

I saw in a bathroom stall just last night a message from a friendly loving soul to me, and I give it now to you. Give it to someone else when you get a chance. We are all the same, together:

"There is still hope.
There is always hope."